As the GM of the Fighting Sea Monkeys I’m often stopped in public places by strangers who ask me questions like: “Did you know your fly is open”  or $37 for Vernon Wells?…that’s so……sweet.”   My stock response has become:  “My face is up here and IT WAS AN EXTENDED CONTRACT DAMMIT!  I HAD NO #$%# CHOICE!!”  Jeez.  That was usually sufficient to silence Granny and then I’d zip up and be on my way.

In any case I was confident that in spite of the salary constraints, I’d use my considerable savvy to quickly assemble a team  that would terrorize the entire league; or at least that new owner that I was hoping to put between my Monkey butt and the basement.  When the draft was over, the new guy wasn’t all that afraid.

I knew that I needed a front line stopper to buffer the Verlander/Bedard effect.  And I knew that I needed power.  Yeah, power…..and speed too.  Not such a complete group of keepers I must admit.  So, as you would expect, the first guys that were thrown out were showered with fantasy money.  Cabrera and Texeira each went for $44.    Jason Bay went for $35.  The ghost of Vladimir Guerrero even fetched $32.  Hmmm.  Maybe pitching would be more reasonable?

CC Sabathia comes out and he goes for $32.  So much for reasonable pitching prices.  Scott Baker goes for $25.  I know, right?  At this point I’m getting queasy thinking about relying upon Andy Sonnanstine and the back end of Toronto’s rotation to help ‘ol Vernon Wells carry the franchise to a new day.   Then out comes Beckett.  I bid $23 and watched the clock run out.  I’m very happy at this point and then Kazmir goes for $27.   I’m rocking this auction.

And just like that the wheels came off.  I paid $28 for Blalock (clink), $26 for Damon, (clank), and followed that with an $11 Russ Branyan (clunk).  Indeed.  To sum up the rest of the draft, I own Lyle Overbay.  Yep.  I do.  I bid on him and they all stopped.  It was horrible.

So I want to share the 09 Sea Monkeys in all of their glory.  It’s important to become familiar with these names as it is inevitable that this group of players will have me bitching and grousing like a hormonal woman.  One that’s kind of heavy.   

I’m sure I’ll bitch about Floyd at some point.  Verlander has already wronged  me.  I’m expecting nothing but good things from Beckett this year.  And I’ll mostly be holding my breath while the back end of my rotation; Matt Harrison can you hear me?……walks the tight rope.   Oh and with typical Monkey luck, one of my closers, Joey Devine, is off to see the doctor.   A 60 day DL stint and a visit to Dr. James Andrews would seem to indicate that my boy is off to the place where elbows go to die.  If I can get the league to include MRIs as a counting category, I may still have an impact player here but my compadres are slow to adopt cutting edge league tweaks.

In any case, here come the season and here come the Fighting Sea Monkeys.   Right now we’re all still in the hunt.  April is grand indeed.